More than four months have passed since I was forced to take a break from my ‘normal’ life due to the outbreak of the corona virus. What was my normal life? A question that may pop in your head when you read the first line of this text. Well, normal for me is waking up with a sulky mood in the morning and dragging myself to the university. Here, I spent most of my time walking from one building to another to attend classes or going out with my friends to munch on the unhealthy yet thoroughly flavorsome food on the streets of Maskan. After that I would come home, spend some time with my family and motivate myself to complete the readings and assignments for the next class. On the weekends, my cousins and I would try out different restaurants, go to the beach at 6am and enjoy a delicious breakfast of chola poori and sooji ka halwa, or I would just spend my weekends being lazy and covering up for the sleep I wouldn’t be getting during the weekdays.
However, this everyday life of mine changed drastically when lockdown was enforced, and everyone was advised to stay inside their homes. Being cut-off from everyone and everything made me realize how much I had taken the day to day happenings of my life for granted, just because it was so normal.
When my friend messaged me that his university was closed because of the outbreak of the virus, I prayed that my university would close as well because I was completely exhausted from working on assignments every day. If I had a time machine, I would go back to prevent myself from making that wish, because now I just want my university to open and the normal activities of my life to resume. With the closure of university, I thought my life had become really easy because now the classes were recorded, and it was decided that we would pass without having to give exams if our percentile was above 60%. This made me lazier for now instead of having to wake up at 9am every day, I could just listen to the recorded lectures whenever I was free. My teachers were extremely understanding throughout this period, and were willing to adjust the classes and assignments according to the feasibility of the students.
Besides the monotonous routine of waking up whenever I wanted to and listening to the audio lectures, I was also burdened by an added stress of being productive. In my head, I was wasting my time by being at home so I started applying for corporate internships just because all my friends were applying as well. However, I didn’t bag an internship, and somehow I was not disappointed because of mainly two reasons. One, my heart was not into it, and secondly, I worked in the corporate sector last year and wanted to do something different this year. My plans did not materialize because the internships that did seem interesting were not paid, and I was not okay with being a slave to capitalism (lol). I was disappointed for not being productive enough, but my friend made me realize that the times which we are in are not normal, and it’s okay to feel this way because the pandemic is impacting everyone’s mental health. We are stuck in our homes because of a virus that’s waiting to attack anyone who let’s their guard down and during such turbulent times where safety is our top most priority, one must realize how ‘not normal’ the situation is. So, to carry out with our normal expectations of securing internships during summer breaks like we have been doing or having the urge to be productive, is in a way asking for a bit too much and one must not let this affect their mental well-being.
Hence, I decided it was okay to be lazy, and I didn’t let this guilt affect me further. I diverted my mind from this guilt by doing things I had not tried before. There were seven Harry Potter books lying in my brother’s shelf carrying dust, and I decided to give them a read and see what the hype was about. It’s safe to say I understand the excitement of the “Potter-Heads”, because these books were amazing. Rowling takes you into a magical world, a world you would want to escape too especially if you were trapped inside your home because of the pandemic. The urge to play a game of Quidditch with my friends high up in the sky, or to have a glass of butter-beer with my classmates at the Three Broomsticks would rise every time I would read about it. Apart from finishing this series, I also decided to watch Korean dramas. I never really tried watching K-Dramas before, however when four friends of mine recommended them, I decided to give this a try as well. I started off with “Crash Landing on You” and enjoyed it quite a lot. My friend forwarded an entire list of K-Dramas which I look forward to watching because I have quite a lot of time on my hands. I also gave the German show “Dark” a try, and if you want to mess with your brain cells then this is the show for you, because its details will leave you confused.
Binge watching shows and reading books did kill most of my time, but I craved the outside air. This year, Ramadan and Eid were different too. Men couldn’t go out for Tarawih prayers which seemed really hard to digest. We also weren’t able to have ‘iftar parties’,‘sehri outings’ or fancy gatherings on Eid. Dressing up for Eid seemed pointless, but I stepped out of this mindset and dressed up anyways because I wanted to take pictures for my Instagram and I also didn’t want the makeup and clothes that I have been ordering online to be wasted.
After my semester ended and Eid holidays passed, it seemed as if the same day was repeating again and again. Being stuck inside my home made me really cranky which led to petty fights with my mother or my siblings, but these wouldn’t last for long because we would apologize after cooling down. In these four months, I only went to the super market four times to stock up on my junk food. My parents and siblings would go out when they needed groceries, but proper precautions were taken by them every time they stepped out. One time, I was at the mart, and I couldn’t stop sneezing which made others scared of me. At this point, I was encumbered by a sense of guilt for sneezing in public, but at the same time I felt low-key powerful because people were scared of my sneeze (lol).
Bringing this piece to an end, all I’ll say is perhaps this is the new normal. The virus is still here, it is still a major threat and it will continue being one which is why we have to be careful all the time. We will have to get adjusted to this new way of living, and at the same time remain hopeful, because it’s only hope that can make the present situation less arduous to bear.
— Anushay Hanif, July 15, 2020, Karachi
